Whatever teams are going to do to secure their seeding, they have to do it now! Times almost up to lock down whatever seeding suits them, be it a wild card or a division crown.
Locks
Niners-Commanders: Niners
The Niners were winning this matchup before Howell was pulled. Now that it’s clear they’re tanking, it’s looking to be a rout. I know I sound like a broken record calling the Niners one of the best teams in the NFC, but I’m well versed in juxtaposition as a writer. The Niners, a well oiled machine I’d be foolish not to respect, vs. a team insure of both their head coach and quarterback. Update: With Jacoby Brissett ailing, Sam Howell is starting this week.
Safe Picks
Chargers-Broncos: Chargers
Speaking of franchises that benched their QB seemingly out of the blue, the Denver Broncos everyone! Benching Wilson makes even less sense than benching Howell: long-term ripple effect, financially irresponsible, not coming off the heels of a bad game, shines a light on the NFL’s dirty underbelly. Overall a terrible move for a team that’s losing their #1 QB and WR in the same week. It also doesn’t help Easton Stick is currently in his Jake Browning arc. Insert joke about Herbert being a system QB here.
Patriots-Bills: Bills
Soak it in, everyone, we’re in the last two games of the Bill Belichick era. So this is how it ends, not with a bang but a whimper. Bailey Zappe the QB1, Jalen Reagor the WR1, years of draft malfeasance overlooked because Bill Belichick is an evil mastermind. Now, two franchises he and Brady terrorized are going to get their long-awaited revenge: the Bills and Jets.
Rams-Giants: Rams
The Rams have been described as the wild card nobody wants to play. Cooper Kupp finally healthy, the revelations of Puca Nacua and Kyren Williams, the inexplicable elevation of the Rams’ offense since mid November. Since Stafford hurt his finger, they’ve been scoring 1.5X as many points. I know I made the joke of Stafford being better injured before, but dang.
Avoids
Packers-Vikings: Vikings
Jordan Love vs. Nick Mullens. Yay. I give both QBs for being better than I anticipated, but outside of the divisional rivalry and Vikings WRs, there isn’t much of a reason to look towards this match with anticipation. Knowing how my luck goes, this’ll be the game of the week despite all my disrespect.
Other Picks
Dolphins-Ravens: Ravens
I’d give the Dolphins the benefit of the doubt against anyone but the AFC’s Super Bowl favorites. On the road, not at full strength, at that. Waddle, Mostert, half of Tua’s offensive line banged up. Waddle’s officially out, too. Overcoming all this against a top 3 team in the NFL would be extremely impressive, but it’s something I’d need to see to believe
Falcons-Bears: Falcons
Arthur Smith is lucky he’s surrounded by high-end talent. I shudder to think what this offense would look like without Kyle Pitts, Drake London, Bijan Robinson, etc (when Smith remembers they exist). Even in spite of all Atlanta’s talent, I’d take Chicago if Ridder was playing. I don’t trust him and Smith on their own, let alone together.
Titans-Texans: Texans
On the opposite end of the spectrum, a franchise soon to be saved by the return of their heralded young QB. I’ve had my share of hot takes, I don’t think saying Stroud gives the Texans a better chance of winning than Davis Mills is one of them. The spottiness of Will Levis doesn’t help Tennessee’s cause, either.
Raiders-Colts: Colts
To give Antonio Pierce his due props, the Raiders are a different team with him at the helm. That said, attitude doesn’t change they’re not going to win this week not throwing a pass in three quarters. Zamir White did a good job last week, but I need to see more consistency before I’m ready to label him a bell cow back.
Panthers-Jaguars: Panthers
Trevor Lawrence is officially out. He should have been out for a while, if we’re being honest. Dropping all formalities, it will officially be CJ Beathard taking the helm. We only saw a small glimpse of him against Cincinnati, but that glimpse forebode of a team that struggles to move the ball. Kirk isn’t coming back either, so God bless the Jaguars in their attempts to establish the pass.
Cardinals-Eagles: Eagles
As Josh Sweat will attest, Philadelphia is out for blood in this one. The defens(ive coordinator) cost the Eagles a Super Bowl, so this one’s personal. I anticipate the defense will do their part. Arizona is sneaky good (okay, more like streaky good), but Murray’s been dealing with an illness as of late. Illnesses are dangerous because they noticeably impact a QB’s play. If Eagles can get pressure and the offensive coaching can turn off Ask Madden for 60 minutes, we— I mean they should actually have a good shot.
Saints- Bucs: Bucs
I’m halfway between respecting the Bucs and not. On one hand, they’ve overachieved this year thanks to Mike Evans, Rachaad White, and a Baker Mayfield Browns fans would kill to have back right about now. On the other, Skip Bayless likes Baker, and the Bucs Browning’soffense has been up and down. One way or another, both teams know what’s at stake and are ready to go to war. Neither have been half bad as of late, either.
Steelers-Seahawks: Steelers
In a QB room with Kenny Pickett and Mason Rudolph, I’m not 100% sure how Mitch Trubisky managed to be the worst of the bunch. Nevertheless, Rudolph has the reins, and he has the good fortune of having a defense that loves generating turnovers. I’m sure they’ll likewise appreciate having an offense that can finally move the ball.
Bengals-Chiefs: Chiefs
Unfortunately, it looks like Jake Browning’s Cinderella story is drawing close to midnight. I wouldn’t normally doom after one game, but there are two factors at play here: his lack of pedigree and the porousness of the Steelers defense that he wasn’t able to exploit. I do see a reality where Mahomes loses this week,however, his defense being gashed by Ja’Marr Chase and Joe Mixon (the Chiefs D gave up 124 to Zamir White last week). If the Chiefs offense is a no-show, however, I’d be very concerned about the playoff implications.
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Dylan Patrowicz is a featured writer at The Birds Blitz. For more from Dylan, check out his archive and read through our Eagles articles for the latest news about the Birds.
