Way Too Early Eagles 2022 Season Predictions

Do you hate meaningless conclusions drawn way too early? Unbridled Eagles optimism? How about predictions made partially in order to take unearned victory laps for moves you had no part in? Well if you do, this is not the article for you. This one’s simple; game-by-game predictions for our Birds’ upcoming 2022 season.

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PARTICIPANTS AND SELECTIONS
OVER	o9.5 -120	o9.5 -125	o9.5 EVEN	o9.5 -120	o9.5 -125	NL NL	NL NL	o9.5 -125	o9.5 -125	NL NL
UNDER	u9.5 EVEN	u9.5 +105	u9.5 -120	u9.5 EVEN	u9.5 EVEN	NL NL	NL NL	u9.5 +103	u9.5 +103	NL NL

Week 1: Lions: WIN, 36-17
I think we all remember how this game went last year. Sure, the Lions improved this off-season, but I think the Birds did significantly more (and were a better team to begin with). Our running game should again be a threat to gas this lions defense, and the lord can only wonder who’s going to cover AJ Brown in this Lions Secondary. I’m just glad we’re getting the Lions before Jameson Williams is set to return.

Week 2: Vikings: WIN, 28-24
This game is going to be closer than people think. The Vikings are a good squad, and the trio of Jefferson, Thielen, and Cook is a threat to put up big numbers any week. Kirk is a disrespected QB, but he’s more than capable of dismantling a defense on any given week – but I have faith the additions in the front 7 and James Bradberry should give our offense a chance to exploit a weak Vikings D. This is one of the many games I see the Birds winning in the trenches.

Week 3: Commanders: WIN, 21-13
Division games are always gritty, and I have no doubt that Wentz’ return will be no different. However, I also have no doubt that Carson will inevitably fold in a high-stakes situation against his former team (sorry!) and that our secondary will be able to hold firm during a game that can best be described as “trench warfare”. It’s here where we’re going to see if Hurts can win games with his arm – as long as a falling banister at FedEx field doesn’t take it off first.

Week 4: Jaguars: WIN, 33-21
I get that we as Eagles fans have a duty to love Doug Pederson, and root for him on the Jaguars. But being realistic here, the Jags suck, and there was a reason Dougie P was fired. It’s always going to be scary facing a young, hyper-talented QB like Trevor Lawrence – but with this Jaguars wideout corps, OL, and defense looking like bottom-tier units once again, I think we’ll put up a pretty convincing win here.

Week 5: Cardinals: LOSS, 30-24
Oh no! We’re doomed! 4-0 was a great start, but I think the Birds fall back down to earth against the Cards. Again, facing these young talented QBs is always going to be tough – and Kyler is heavily disrespected, but definitely a top-tier quarterback. I like what the cards did combining DHop with Marquise Brown, and I believe their offense is going to be top tier (at least for the first 10 games) in 2022. We nearly always have the advantage in the trenches, but with K1’s mobility, I just think we’ll finally be outpaced.

Week 6: Dallas: WIN, 31-24
Yeah, I said it. Your 2022 Philadelphia Eagles, led by Jalen Alexander Hurts, will beat the Dallas Cowboys at home in primetime. The Cowboys have sustained significant losses this off-season, while the Birds have made significant gains – ones I believe will give us the firepower we need to beat Dallas. No Cowboys fans, Trevon Diggs isn’t going to be able to cover AJ Brown, and Kelvin Joseph sure as hell isn’t going to be able to handle Devonta Smith. Can the defense handle the Cowboys offense? It’s going to be tough, but minus Amari Cooper and plus James Bradberry, it should be somewhat easier. Fuck Dallas.

Week 7: BYE: WIN, 41-33
Hurts and crew crush the bye for a signature win. GO BIRDS!!!!!

Week 8: Steelers: WIN, 27-24
I think even despite the seeming imbalance in roster talent here, this game has a pretty high probability of being one of the tougher on the schedule. The Steelers defensive line is still quite potent, and you can never really count out a Mike Tomlin led squad. The real position advantage here is going to be the Eagles Defensive line versus the Steelers offensive line, and as is the case for many other games, domination there will lead to victory. Kenny Pickett will provide a baseline of solid QB play for the Steelers, and they don’t lack weapons on that offense – but I choose to believe our defense can make them one dimensional.

Week 9: Texans: WIN, 34-14
In my opinion, a good football season is not complete without a thumping of a clearly inferior roster. I’m rooting for the Texans as a franchise, I really am – but right now, their squad stinks. I think we dominate in all 3 phases and defeat captain Neck, continuing our red hot streak to start the year.

Week 10: Commanders: LOSS, 20-14
This game just feels like a loss to me. Hey, I mean we have to cool down at some point, and sweeping a division rival is hard. Wentz gets his revenge here. Or Corral. I wouldn’t be surprised either way.

Week 11: Colts: WIN, 24-17
This is one of my most anticipated games of the year. Without Wentz, the Colts have a very likable roster, and Sirriani vs. Reich provides a highly interesting storyline. I think the key to this game will be limiting Jonathan Taylor, which we certainly have the personnel up front to accomplish. There’s nothing I want to see more than Jordan Davis vs. Quenton Nelson 1v1 (pls Sirriani) – but if our revamped front 7 can contain Taylor (to the extent which he can be) I think we take advantage of a weak Colts receiving corps and edge out a scrappy victory.

Week 12: Packers: LOSS, 35-20
The Packers lost Devante Adams, but they’re still an incredibly good roster; it’s hard not to be with the MVP at Quarterback. I think the strong Packers pass and run defense slows our offense in both phases, leaving room for Rodgers to do what he does best against this secondary. The Packers main weakness is at receiver, but with an Elite OL and secondary, I just don’t see us keeping pace.

Week 13: Titans: WIN: 31-21
I don’t care about logic. This is AJ Brown’s revenge game. TItans run defense is softer than wet toilet paper, but if Brown doesn’t see 10+ targets I will riot. Our defensive line should give Henry trouble, but he’s going to get his due – just not as much as Brown will.

Week 14: Giants: WIN: 27-20
It’s actually quite concerning how much I’ve liked (or hated) the moves the Giants made this off-season. It’s truly unfortunate that we have to watch young studs like Thibodeaux and Neal play for the G-Men for the foreseeable future – and it finally seems they have combined that talent with competent management and coaching. That being said, the Giants still have a ways to go when it comes to fielding a competitive roster. Daniel Jones is actually a bit better than Eagles fans give him credit for, but that’s not saying much. We should be able to exploit this weak secondary, while applying interior pressure that hopefully forces some Daniel Jones turnovers.

Week 15: Bears: WIN: 31-13
It should be illegal for the Bears to do what they’re doing to Justin Fields. I mean, I get the unbridled Bears fan optimism, but can’t we see what’s happening? Once again, a young,promising QB is being left to die behind a downright terrible offensive line with, excuse my language, dogshit weapons to help him. Fields has way too much on his plate when it comes to running (no pun intended) this offense. I truly pray he finds a way to persevere through his situation. But it’s not looking good. Oh, and we’ll beat them.

Week 16: Cowboys: LOSS: 38-24
It’s time for the Eagles yearly heartbreaker at the hands of the dark empire. The Cowboys aren’t a joke team, and have young talent galore, making a sweep an unlikely thought. Hopefully the sun at JerryWorld can shine on the Birds when we make the journey out, but I have to add some realism to these predictions.

Week 17: Saints: WIN: 28-17
Jalen Hurts owns the saints. It’s a known fact. Here, the Eagles are both playing for playoff seeding AND to push down NO’s draft pick, and I think that Jalen’s yearly explosion against this elite Saints defense will propel us positively in both directions. It’s going to be tough, as the Saints have a more than strong roster, but I have faith.

Week 18: Giants: WIN: 21-14
Right now, the birds sit at 12-4, competing for high playoff seeding in a weak NFC. This is going to be a gritty game, and it’s more than possible the Giants are playing just to spoil our seeding. I think we pull out the win here, but I really find it hard to predict a sweep against this team with all of the young talent I expect to develop for the G-Men throughout the season.

While I predicted us a record of 13-4, it’s more than likely we drop a few games we should win. It happens every year to every single team. Somewhat hypocritically, I would like to warn against the sky-high expectations that many Eagles fans seem to hold – we still have a young Coaching staff, an unproven QB, and pieces that need time to mesh together. I love the direction this team is going, and as we can see, I am optimistic about this season. But don’t hold a young team like this to unattainable standards, because you will be disappointed, and possibly even look over significant growth we see this year.

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