Ohh football, how I’ve missed ye! One game in and we’re already seeing potential paradigm shifts, the pendulum swing as hope returns to lands where such is a forgotten concept. Though the scales of power might have changed, however, my job remains the same.
Week 1 NFL Locks
Cardinals-Commanders: Commanders (-7.0)
There aren’t many teams that I don’t have any faith in before a snap is even played. The Cardinals are one of them. Even if Howell ends up not being like he was in preseason, I couldn’t name who’s starting at quarterback for Arizona without googling. I know Kyler, but who’s next up? *Checks notes* Joshua Dobbs. Couple that with Jonathan Gannon probably not lasting ten games and a pittance of weapons, and you’ve got a team racing for the first overall pick.
Week 1 NFL Safe Bets
Texans-Ravens: Ravens (-9.5)
The Texans are in a bad spot right now. Houston had an incredibly impressive and aggressive draft, but I anticipate it’ll take time for everything to come together. Apart from Mark Andrews, Lamar has never had a true #1. Now, he has a first-round pick to throw to and an Odell Beckham Jr. that helped the Rams reach the Super Bowl in 2022. Even if a limited version of Andrews shows up, I at least trust Lamar to beat up on a rebuilding Texans squad.
Eagles-Patriots: Eagles (-4.0)
Yes, this totally isn’t biased at all. Jokes aside, I do think Philadelphia has the all-round better team. New England’s #1 receiver has a knee that’s ‘ready to explode,’ their #2 might not make the Eagles roster, I couldn’t name their #3 without Google. WRs aside (since the weather is reportedly going to be rainy and miserable), one thing that Philadelphia is so good at is controlling the flow of the game, which would be the determining factor even if the teams were equal.
Rams-Seahawks: Seahawks (-4.5)
I didn’t anticipate the Rams were going to be good this year BEFORE Kupp experienced a setback. LA sold its soul for a Super Bowl (understandable, honestly) and now they have to deal with the aftermath for the next few years. It’s painful that a loss to a division rival will inaugurate their season, but at least they’ll always have that ring.
Cowboys-Giants: Cowboys (-2.5)
Dallas losing to New York would be hilarious, but I’d have to see it to believe it. New York has lost 10 of the last 11, and the one that they won was without Dak under center. Albeit, 2022 was a down year for Dak, but Cowboys unfortunately have a much more talented roster on paper. That’s not even mentioning how Giants receivers have been dropping like flies.
Week 1 NFL Avoid
Dolphins-Chargers: Chargers (-2.0)
I saw a graph that the Chargers have both scored and allowed the most points out of any team in the league since Herbert was drafted, so this was going to be a shootout anyways. Throw in Hill and Waddle and you have a fun Sunday afternoon. People are going to make this about Tua Vs. Herbert, I’m just going to enjoy the back and forth. What decided it for me was me noticing that whenever I watched, California teams struggled in Florida (and vice versa). Keep your money in your pocket and enjoy the fireworks.
Other Picks
Bengals-Browns: Browns (+2.5)
This would be one to watch if Burrow and Watson were at full power. Heck, it’s not even completely certain one of them are going to play. I’d sit on this one until as late as possible. If Burrow’s a no-go, bet the Browns. If he can suit up, Bengals receivers are turning a secondary missing Denzel Ward to barbecue chicken.
Buccaneers-Vikings: Vikings (-5.5)
Two offenses that are as good as their defense is bad. The main difference is that I know Minnesota has a quarterback that can utilize that talent (most of the time). Baker was near-perfect in preseason, but that’s preseason. Over the past two years, I’ve only seen Baker have flashes of brilliance. I’m going to need to see some consistency from him before I’m putting any money in his corner.
Panthers-Falcons: Falcons (-3.5)
Rivalry games are always sneaky. Carolina (probably) has the better quarterback, but Atlanta has the better weapons. I like Sanders, but I don’t trust him as RB1. Even if Robinson takes time to get his feet set, the Falcons also have Patterson; Pitts; and Allegier. I trust Atlanta more than Carolina for the most part, though I’ll admit, it’d be funny if I spent all this time talking up Atlanta’s weapons just for them to lose.
Jaguars-Colts: Jaguars (-6.0)
These ain’t your slightly older brother’s Jaguars. Jacksonville actually has talent. Meanwhile, Indy’s best player is on the sideline. I don’t know what lead Jim Irsay to say not having a running back wouldn’t hinder a young quarterbacks development, but I have a feeling we’re going to see very quickly how incorrect that is. Especially considering Richardson is a raw project that needs all the early help he can get.
49ers-Steelers: Steelers (+2.5)
Patrick Peterson said the 49ers have tells in their offense, and I’m inclined to believe him. 2022 was a fun ride for San Fransisco, but the word on the street is Purdy comes crashing back down to Earth. There’s probably going to be turnovers from each team, and it’s all gonna come down to who capitalized on each other’s mistakes early on. Riveting analysis, I know.
Titans-Saints: Titans (+3.0)
It’s gonna be an ugly game (in the sense that I’m not sure either team will score many points).Like the Bucs, the Saints looked lethal in preseason, but I’ve learned better than to let preseason significantly influence my thoughts. Tennessee still has Henry, so they can control the flow of the game more than the team who has De’Von Achane as their (current) RB1.
Raiders-Broncos: Raiders (+3.5)
After last year, it’s going to take some time before I’m ready to trust Wilson again. It also doesn’t help that all of the Broncos are getting injured before the season even starts. Tim Patrick has a torn ACL, Jerry Jeudy *should* be fine but has only practiced once in two weeks , and all that leaves is Courtland Sutton. I’d give them the benefit of the doubt if they didn’t have one of the most anemic offenses in the nfl last year.
Packers-Bears: Bears (-1.0)
I’d probably look at this matchup differently if Aaron Rodgers was still here, but he left along with Allen Lazard. Meanwhile, Romeo Doubs and Christian Watson are dealing with hamstring issues, and Jordan Love is making his first appearance as a full-time starter. Chicago has also made multiple improvements to their roster this offseason, and with Fields expected to make a leap by NFL executives, this might well signify a changing of the guard.
Bills-Jets: Jets (+2.5)
Another game that’s making my Upset Senses tingle. Coupling the Jets’ eagerness to make a statement out of the gate with Allen’s recent proclivity for red zone, I’d actually say New York has a sneaky good chance of surprising people. Not to mention, the Jets were good enough to win 5 games with Zach Wilson as a starter, New York also stole one from Buffalo last year, so it’s not impossible.
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Dylan Patrowicz is a featured writer at The Birds Blitz. For more from Dylan, check out his archive and read through our Eagles articles for the latest news about the Birds.
