Bless the Football Gods, nearly every game this week has playoff implications! There’s only one, maybe two, game{s} this week between two bad teams. This is a far cry from the past couple of weeks where the lineup of games has been a shot in the dark.
Lock
Cardinals (-7.5) vs. Bears (+7.5): Cardinals
I can’t help but wonder if my locks have served as a curse for teams, as games that shouldn’t have been close have been surprising upsets. Likelihood has flown out the window of this season, however, so it’s necessary to keep up to date. Even at Chicago’s best over the past few weeks, they lost winnable games. At their worst, Chicago fans break into “fire Nagy” chants. Quite the reverse from someone who just won a game with Josh Johnson at QB.
Safe Bets
Jaguars (+12.5) vs. Rams (-12.5): Rams
Los Angeles’ play hasn’t been consistent with their aspirations, as of late. Fortunately for them, they’re playing a get-right game against a team that is far divorced from playoff contention. If Los Angeles is going to get back on track, there are few better teams (or rather, worse) teams to do it against.
Buccaneers (-11.0) vs. Falcons (+11.0): Buccaneers
This could be the lock of the week, but the Bucs have lost to lesser competition in recent weeks. That’s not to say that I’m bold enough to pick Atlanta, as the Falcons are highly suspect on offense and defense. They have more wins than I thought they would at this point in the season, to their credit, but the question is the same as it’s been in previous weeks: is it enough? Is a supposedly bad team good enough to beat a team, even on an off day? Everything would have to go right, but I don’t see it happening.
Eagles (-7.0) vs. Jets (+7.0): Eagles
Neither the Eagles nor the Jets are good teams, sadly. Both have major holes to fill in their rosters, but I’m leaning towards saying the Eagles win. This isn’t based in nepotism. The Eagles have a couple of good players, and they’ll win if Hurts plays as he has in three of the past four games, One key stat sticks out, however: Philadelphia is 11-0 in this series. I’m sorry if this is a curse that ends this decade-long streak.
Colts (-10.0) vs. Texans (+10.0): Colts
I was mistaken in saying that the Colts were heading into their bye week last week. My prediction ended up being correct, but was nevertheless born from a mathematical error. With that said, I love late-season divisional games. Not only are games of this sort hard-fought, but earlier games make this easier to predict. Wentz has been playing some good ball this year, and Jonathan Taylor has proven to be the football form of Galactus: consuming everything he comes across. Thanks to these two and more, the Eagles blew the Texans out 33-3. Colts will likely do what they’ve done all season long and put up 30+, however. If Indianapolis’ offense lives up to its potential against a bad opponent, that is.
Vikings (-7.0) vs, Lions (+7.0): Vikings
Scratch what I just said about liking late-game divisional matchups. I praise the Lions for fighting all season, but what’s the last time the Lions scored 20 points? That’s not a high bar to clear. Minnesota might be without Dalvin Cook, but Detroit will be without D’Andre Swift, one of the players Motown can ill afford to lose. Minnesota is at least fortunate to have a quarterback that has eight times as many touchdowns as interceptions.
Ravens (-4.5) vs. Steelers (+4.5): Ravens
It’s a bold move calling Baltimore a safe anything after last week’s performance. Yes, they won, but at what cost? Admittedly, I don’t imagine Lamar is going to throw four interceptions in many games. The reason I trust Baltimore to win this game is because they’ve found ways to win close matchups multiple times this season. Rothelisberger’s arm is cooked, the Bengals just put up 30 points on the Steelers defense, and Pittsburgh’s o line is without most, if not all, of its best players. I expect Calais Campbell to have a big game
49ers (-3.5) vs. Seahawks (+3.5): 49ers
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I have more faith in Jimmy Garoppolo than Russell Wilson. DangeRuss just hasn’t looked right since he came back from a broken finger. While Garoppolo hasn’t necessarily been Aaron Rodgers over the past few months, he’s at least been solid, which is more that can be said about WIlson. The 49ers are also a Super Bowl-caliber team, whereas Wilson has been carrying the Seahawks ever since the Legion of Boom left.
Avoids
Cowboys (-6.0) vs. Saints (+6.0): Cowboys
The Cowboys have lost three of four and will be without their Head Coach. The Saints are starting Taysom Hill. There is likely a more clear-cut winner if this game is a month ago. Fortunately, as of writing, it’s December 02, 2021, and both teams are equally capable of beating each other.
Giants (+4.0) vs. Dolphins (-4.0): Dolphins
This a borderline tank bowl. Whoever loses this game is probably out of contention. By some miracle, both are a maximum of two games out of the wild card. Admittedly, neither of these teams deserve to be in the playoffs, but a lot of teams are hovering around .500 this year and so most teams are very close. I’ll say that Miami wins since Tua has had some good games this year. Meanwhile, Daniel Jones just put up 13 on the Eagles, who good teams have been mincing all year.
Other Picks
Broncos (+9.5) vs. Chiefs (-9.5): Chiefs
Do I dare base my pick on one game? Mahomes has been inconsistent this year, and the Broncos have stymied a couple good offenses (Chargers, Cowboys). This is a division game, so I can, fortunately, look back to see trends from past years. Survey says Denver hasn’t beaten KC since 2015. I’m going to take a gamble on historical precedent and say the Chiefs keep the streak going.
Chargers (+3.0) vs. Bengals (-3.0): Bengals
Again, do I dare base my pick on one game? Unlike with Broncos-Chiefs, I don’t have the luxury of relying on history to say who will win this game. It’s two AFC teams in the thick of the playoff race, so it should be a good one. I’ll give the nod to the Bengals since they can use Joe Mixon to eviscerate LA’s less-than-stellar run defense.
WFT (+2.5) vs. Raiders (-2.5): Football Team
This could go either way, honestly. Las Vegas just put up big numbers against Dallas, but that was very much thanks to some timely penalties, and I’m not sure how many other games Carr is going to be able to abuse penalty yardage to that extent. I’m also inclined to pick Washington because Oakland/Las Vegas hasn’t beaten them since 2005 (this meeting repeats every four years, and Washington has won the last three meetings). Granted, that means the last meeting was 2017, and those previous teams are irrelevant to how they are this year. The issue is that neither are consistent enough to say one is better than another, and that leaves me to depend on superficial superstition.
Patriots (+3.0) vs. Bills (-3.0): Patriots
Buffalo is another good team that has been struggling as of late. Meanwhile, since 31 other teams aren’t allowed to be happy, New England has won six straight and is the #2 seed in the AFC. Mac Jones is getting better every week, and Bill Belichick is reaffirming that he had as much to do with the Patriots dynasty as Brady did. This is a division game between two good teams, so anything could happen, but my pick for this week is as simple as saying a name: Bill Belichick.
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Dylan Patrowicz is a featured writer at The Birds Blitz. For more from Dylan, check out his archive and read through our Eagles articles for the latest news about the Birds.
