Have you ever stayed up all night doing an assignment due in the morning? For the first time in two years, this is the feeling I have writing one of these articles, typing the last words around 3:30 A.M. Fortunately, I know ball no matter the hour of day.
Safe Bets
New York Giants Vs. Green Bay Packers: Packers (-8.0)
The most obvious difference between teams is the quarterbacks. GB’s receivers aren’t great, but at least they have a Hall of Fame quarterback to carry them. New York has Saquon Barkley and not much else. Since this is a 9:30 A.M. game in London, this is probably going to be a miserable affair regardless, but on the plus side, it can’t be worse than the Thursday night game(s).
Pittsburgh Steelers Vs. Buffalo Bills: Bills (-14.0)
Between TJ Watt being hurt and Kenny Pickett starting his first game in the NFL, I almost feel bad for the meat grinder that is Buffalo. Maybe I end up surprised and Pickett dissects an injured Buffalo defense like a 10-year veteran, but Josh Allen has already gone through the growing pains that Pickett himself will likely have to go through.
Tennessee Titans Vs. Washington Commanders: Titans (-1.0)
If this was 2017-19 Wentz vs. 2017-19 Tannehill, I’d take the Commanders easily, but unfortunately, for Washington, years of injury have deteriorated the athleticism that gave Wentz his ability to make magic early in his career. Not to mention, Washington will be without Jahan Dotson, and Wentz couldn’t beat the Titans last year in the two tries he had.
Las Vegas Raiders Vs. Kansas City Chiefs: Chiefs (-7.0)
I find it somewhat funny that people questioned whether the Chiefs would retain their stature as one of the league’s elites with the departure of Tyreek Hill. while in the same breath saying that Davante Adams would elevate the Raiders to a contender. I know because I held both of these opinions, hence my friend lambasting me for calling Mahomes a ‘fraud’ during the 2021 season. Little did I know, Carr was the fraud all along.
San Francisco 49ers Vs. Carolina Panthers: 49ers (-6.5)
It’s not an insult to say Garoppolo isn’t a great quarterback, right? It’s well known in the NFL world, from the executives to the fans in the bleachers. Fortunately, Baker isn’t a great QB either, and he doesn’t have an extremely talented roster to fall back on. While neither QB necessarily moves the needle, Garoppolo has support and a competent coach.
Philadelphia Eagles Vs. Arizona Cardinals: Eagles (-5.5)
I’d be more nervous for Philadelphia if they played Arizona a couple weeks later. Fortunately, the Eagles won’t be seeing DeAndre Hopkins this week, and will instead be facing a Cardinals team with a questionable pass rush. Philadelphia has already beaten better teams this year, so I expect this week will be just another stepping stone towards greater things
Other Picks
Houston Texans Vs. Jacksonville Jaguars: Jaguars (-7.0)
As someone who questioned the success Doug Pederson would have in 2022, both due to the mediocre weapons at his disposal and the rocky performance of Philly’s offense post-Super Bowl, I’ll admit I’m impressed. Not only by Jacksonville’s offense, however, but also the transformation into a solid defensive unit.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers Vs. Atlanta Falcons: Falcons (+10.0)
Imagine having more faith in Marcus Mariota than Tom Brady. 2022 has been a weird year. Yes, Brady has never lost to the Falcons, but even Superman bleeds, and after 20 years of dominance, the cracks are starting to show, literally and metaphorically. Between injury and his (ahem) personal life, there are other things pulling his attention from football.
Miami Dolphins Vs. New York Jets: Jets (+3.5)
I’m not the biggest Zach Wilson fan, but do I dare put my team’s fate in the hands of Teddy Bridgewater? With Tyreek Hill nursing a hamstring injury? Miami is walking into this game limping and warm-weather teams don’t traditionally play well in cold-weather cities.
Detroit Lions Vs. New England Patriots: Lions (+3.5)
Serious question: why are the Lions underdogs against Bailey Zappe? I understand the Lions have the worst defense in the league, but the Patriots need a QB that is able to take advantage of that, no? Then again, Belichick managed to flabbergast Goff before, so the latter might turn to his boogeyman again, but if the Patriots were that sort of boogeyman this season, they’d be better than 1-3.
Chicago Bears Vs. Minnesota Vikings: Vikings (-7.5)
A quarterback that has yet to prove himself on the NFL level, a head coach and a GM on the hot seat, and a team with next to no talent? Sounds like a recipe for success to me. To a certain degree, this is reminiscent of the 49ers-Panthers game: a decent but not transcendent veteran on a team with gobs of talent facing off against an unproven upstart with a lack of support around them. Needless to say, I’m going with the QB who is not quite the sum of their team’s parts.
Los Angeles Chargers Vs. Cleveland Browns: Browns (+2.5)
This was surprisingly hard for me to call, and frankly, this might be the matchup I’m feeling least confident about. But alas, Hazard Zet Forward. I’ll be bold and pick the Browns here since the Chargers will be missing Keenan Allen and because, like Stafford, Herbert has a capacity for the occasional boneheaded play.
Dallas Cowboys Vs. Los Angeles Rams: Cowboys (+5.5)
Hate ‘em or love ‘em (I personally can’t stand them), the Cowboys have a winning formula: let the defense eat while Cooper Rush doesn’t do anything to jeopardize the lead. Meanwhile, for all the talent that’s on the Rams, Stafford occasionally makes a mistake that’ll have you wondering if he’s actually trying to win. Kupp will be the biggest test of Diggs’ young season. For Dallas’ sake, they’d better hope that the talk of him being a top 3 corner isn’t white noise.
Cincinnati Bengals Vs. Baltimore Ravens: Bengals (+3.5)
All the respect in the world to Lamar despite doubting him after last year (I’m airing all my dirty laundry out in this one article, I guess), but the Ravens secondary is beat to hell. Who has the meme of Shams Charania saying ‘free lunch?’ That’s how Cincinnati (Chase, Higgins, Mixon) is looking at Baltimore right now.
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Dylan Patrowicz is a featured writer at The Birds Blitz. For more from Dylan, check out his archive and read through our Eagles articles for the latest news about the Birds.
